*This is complete and absolute rambling and you don’t really have to read it. xD*
Right, so. I’ve been looking around Tumblr and having fun with other Robert Donat fans on there. There was one cool picture, a lobby card for The Count of Monte Cristo. I decided I was going to watch that film, so I headed to Wikipedia for a quick summary. O-kay. Number one – Robert is blonde in this film. There was nothing specific about the character being blonde, so I’m assuming he was being blonde for the heck of it.
Which concerns me because I think blonde Frenchmen are prone to do really stupid things. I watched the trailer. HAHAHAHAHAHA ROBERT GOT PIE SHOVED UP HIS FACE. Okay, probably not pie but it’s funny to imagine that it was pie. My friends and I called it “pie’d”. But the main plot is about him being unjustly imprisoned and escaping just to get revenge.
Uh-huh. I couldn’t work up the nerve to watch the movie. I tried a few times, but nope, nope. But anyway, I was going to the bookstore to get some books to entertain me. I’ve watched a bunch of films like Rebecca, The Snows of Kilimanjaro, Goodbye Mr Chips, and they were all based off books. So I thought, okay, maybe, let’s just go and try to get some of those books. (I know you’re supposed to read the book first but I do everything in reverse.)
And I walk right in, intending to go straight to the Agatha Christie section as I always do. There was one book, The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, which I had intended to get. Halfway through, there’s a shelf that says, “Build Up Your Classics Collection!” I stop and stare because I thought maybe Gone With The Wind was on there. At once The Picture of Dorian Gray jumps out at me. I remember Shammi talking about watching the 1945 film in Shammi Kapoor Unplugged, and he said that it scared the heck outta him.
Okay, I’m passing. I keep looking at the books. AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, GUESS WHAT? THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO! As soon as I see that book, I lose all rational thinking, and I just keep staring, debating whether to get it or not. I then proceeded to have a ‘the hell with it all’ moment and picked it up. Why am I doing this to myself? Stress level: 500
I flipped it around and read the excerpt on the back. WHICH just happens, oh just HAPPENS to be when Edmond gets arrested. God damn. -.- My knees started to feel wobbly when I started imagining what was in the film adaptation. I started to feel inclined to bash my head against the wall. Stress level: 700
OH BUT LOOK AT THE COVER. NOPE NOPE NO BLONDE FRENCHMEN IN THIS CORNER OF THE UNIVERSE HAHA.
So I tried to calm myself down and go to the Agatha Christie section and pick up the books. On the way back, I saw a Doctor Who collection, which appeased me. :D With a sonic screwdriver set, no less! (Stress level: 650) But I kept walking, trying to find the novels. I saw Wuthering Heights and debated whether to get it or not, because I learned that Laurence Olivier starred in a film adaptation of it.
I picked it up, read the summary on the back, learned that it was set in Yorkshire, and then put it down and hobbled away. Too much stuff is set in Yorkshire for me at the moment. Stress level: 800
I finally found the novel version of Gone With The Wind. GOSH I NEVER IMAGINED IT’D BE THAT THICK! THAT THICK! It was more than 1200 pages long. Oh my goodness. I did, however, pause to read the part where Rhett walked out on Scarlett. Heh. Heh. (Stress level: 700)
I passed the book by. Next I was trying to look for Rebecca. It was one I REALLY REALLY wanted. However, it took me really long to figure out the way the books were sorted, and my neck was starting to hurt from leaning sideways to read the titles. I rounded the corner and found a huge shelf of Sparknotes about The Count of Monte Cristo. I was about ready to shoot myself. Stress level: 1000
Nope, they didn’t have Rebecca. Next I tried to look for Ernest Hemingway books, but without much success either. All this time the thought of the film version was consuming me. Robert, oh Robert. T_T -cries- So I kept looking and looking, and I came across a book by Pearl S. Buck.
PEARL S. BUCK?! SERIOUSLY? Something clicks in my head. The English version of Guide. Oops-a-daisy. By this point I want to jump off a cliff. Stress level: 1200
Tried looking for The 39 Steps by John Buchan. Nope, nope. Nothing there, either. I try to rack my brain for authors, but nothing really comes to mind. There was a nice big Shakespeare shelf, though, so I go and pick up Othello to read. ‘Cause I remember, in Humraaz, there was a scene with Sunil Dutt as Othello. Hehehehehe.
I kept looking at the classics shelf. There was one that read – The Idiot. I thought miserably to myself, more like, YOU IDIOT! The thing is still haunting me. I really really can’t work up the nerve to go watch the film or read the book. WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF?! ARGH. Stress level: 2000
Uh-huh. But then it’s time to go, so I decided, okay, I’m gonna live with this darn thing and I’m gonna read it and I’m gonna watch the film and watch Robert prancing around as a blonde Frenchman with his beautiful British accent.
Damn me. -.-”